The other Mokingjay
by Tifa09
Summary: The rebellion didn't happen the way they say it did in the stories. Not saying that Katniss isn't a hero, she's my idol. But there was more inbetween it. They erased the minds of citizens and changed them to coincide with the story you all know. I am one of the only people alive who knows the real story. I am one of the only people alive who lived the real story. I am Azalea
1. Chapter 1

The rebellion didn't happen the way they say it did in the stories. Not saying that Katniss isn't a hero, she's my idol. But there was more in-between it. They kept out things to make the heroine look more hero like and the Capitol, for some odd reason more tamed. Maybe it was to keep a sense of order and respect to the people of power so others wont question it years later. They erased the minds of citizens and changed them to coincide with the story you all know. I am one of the only people alive who knows the real story. I am one of the only people alive who lived the real story. I am Azalea

I watched Katniss hand Peeta the berries. Sweet escape flew out of my mouth before I even knew what I said. My mother turned to me eyes red and puffy glaring at my blaten disregard for the star crossed lovers from our district. Cheers escaped through the streets as they announced them both, Katniss and Peeta, to be the winners of the seventy fourth hunger games. I was fourteen. Our district changed after that, the hungry kids were fed and hope was restored. Now the citizens of district twelve trotted through their miserable existence with a song in their heart. Yippie. Me I just kept living as always. You see I was Katniss' friend you don't remember and there is no record to prove so but I was also interviewed when she was reaped. We bonded over our painfully mirrored lives. Both of our fathers killed in the miners accident. Both Seam girls taking care of our families both mothers to kids we didn't produce. She had Prim and I had Jure. When she figured out how to hunt she came to me and brought me with her. See I was a thief, clever smart and desperate to take care of my mom and my brother. My mom took to whoreing herself after our dad died, not being able to stomach the loneliness she felt, she went and filled her void with other men, even head peacekeeper who she became a regular customer for. She was rather lustful for our current state of living. Always wanted nice things and demanded them from my father while he was living. He adored her, why, I will never know. He built us a house better than any other in the Seam hunted with Katniss' father and worked and did jobs on the side so my Mom could walk in the better part of the city and look like she belonged. So after his death it was left to me to make sure things were ok. Jure who is just three years younger than I was babied, a big mommas boy. I was a culprit as well giving him whatever he liked. I would do anything for him. That is where my story, my half of the rebellion begins.

Two years later after the infamous 74th Hunger Games reaping. I sat in the house of Katniss Everdeen. Her mom was making pancakes for the event and my family was invited. Jure was already dressed up in his nice grey pants suit which where just a little to big for his petite little body, and a grey dress shirt that was completely wrinkled from the fuss he gave me this morning about putting it on. I had to get him ready today because our Mom was off at another suiters house and completely forgot that is was reaping day. Jures hair stuck up at odd places giving him a naturally messy hair due that some guys in the capital would inject tree sap into their hair for. His grey eyes widened at the Pancakes as they where layered on his plate.

'Jure don't drool its not polite' I snapped at him and got up and poured his syrup on his pancakes. 'And please for the love of me DO NOT get syrup on your shirt it already looks bad enough.'

He just smiled at me and stuffed pancakes in his mouth. I sighed a strand of my hair flying up from my breath.

'Thank you Ms. Everdeen for the pancakes. We really appreciate it.' I said not even touching my own Pancakes. She smiled back a sweet bitter smile. The kind a mother can get on a day like this when she still fears for Prims once reaped life, maybe even ours.

Prim had been on watch ever since Katniss overshown the capitol. Everyone in the Everdeen household was terrified of when they would take a chance to show Katniss just who was in charge. Take her sister and make Katniss watch as they did all they could to not only kill her but make it as long and as painful as possible. I told them if they haven't acted now they probably wouldn't, they were probably planning something much worse for the in the future. However they didn't really find that too comforting.

Peeta walked through the door caring small cupcakes for each of us. I liked Peeta, furthermore I liked Peeta and Katniss no matter how much was real and fake they complimented each other the way peanut butter did jelly. Katniss smiled and kissed Peeta on the cheek. Peeta had gotten stronger since his Hunger Games, and grown more handsome his boyish features sculpting into a chizled mans face. His muscles expanding to a size of a well fed man but his blue eyes always remained the same beautiful entrances to his soul. Gale took up his rear coming in with fresh game from this morning. His grey eyes were the opposite of Peeta's they weren't soft they were hard and unrelenting. Although beautiful and sometimes vulnerable his eyes were cold and looking into them gave me chills, good and bad. He was older than Peeta and by far more handsome and buff. From being well fed by the Everdeen family against his protest and working in the mines. He was by far the most amazingly sexy man my eyes ever laid eyes on. I jumped up and hugged him immediately squiling like a school girl. He spun me around and set me down firmly his hands on my waist, sending electric shocks through my entire body. Like I said I like Katniss and Peeta as a couple.

When I sat down I caught a knowing eye from Katniss the only one I have ever shared my secret crush with.

'Well its time for us to get down there' Katniss announced after we scarfed down the food. The once bright atmosphere at once became imbearable. We all hurried out of the house muttering goodbyes to Ms. Everdeen who was no longer required to go to the reapings and couldn't stomach the idea of seeing other children choosen to do what her baby had to do to survive. The usual crowd waited for us. I kissed Jure's forehead as he walked away into his age group got my finger pricked like normal and basically blocked out the whole speech and video of the reaping, sometimes making silly faces at Katniss sitting up in the stand as she tried her hardest not to laugh and keep a stoic face. It wasn't until his name was called that I was brought back to the terror of the whole thing. Jure Meesda, Effy Trinket called and the usual gasp filled the air as they do when a younger kid is reapead. I remember Katniss telling me how she felt when she heard Prims name called.

'Falling' she said 'Your soul is falling inside of you and soon you know it will disappear forever' That's exactly what it fet like. Falling. Before my brain could even comprehend what I was doing I was in the middle of the isle screaming just as Katniss did two short years ago, 'I voulenter' but this time it was too late the girls have already been reaped. I didn't care I fought my way through the peace keepers kicking and punching, I am very skilled at many aspects of killing. When I reached the stage I snatched the mic not daring to look at Katniss horrified face or Gales hard one and looked at the distant air.

'I Azalea want to bring honor to our district still. Keep 12 on the map and let people know that Katniss and Peeta weren't a fluke, that we are a strong district a proud district and just as good as any other, even better.' No cheers erupted, only silence I stood there embarrassed yet determined. Anyone who knew me knew I didn't mean any of it. I was only up there for one reason to protect my brother throught the Hunger Games and to die for him and let him live on.

There was no closing statements, they dragged me Jure and some seventeen year old girl who I didn't care to learn her name into the building. The mayor peacekeepers even Katniss and Peeta were dragged into an emergency meeting, no doubt with the President of Panem. I sat shaking inside and hard outside. Jure wouldn't stop crying, his tears did nothing but make my insides hurt more. I held his hand shushing him, but soon that wasn't enough his body started to convulse and I incased him in my arms as snot covered my pale pink dress. Pulling his hair back kissing his forehead telling him that it would be ok. I promise, Zela was going to making it all ok. Somewhere inbetween calming Jure down our Mom showed up make up smeared from crying. When I noticed her I sat Jure down in his chair and stood up to face her.

'You stupid girl what have you done' She whispered so no ones ears could hear but mine. Then she slapped me. The echo seemed to hang in the air forever. Anger boiled inside me. Here I was giving my life up for her son, and she has the audacity to call me stupid. My small resolve that i was holding on to quickly vanished and before I even knew what I was doing she was on the ground with a knife to her neck.

'Don't ever touch me again' I snared at her. I could see how dark my blue eyes looked in her terrified ones. So resembled in color in shape our eyes, yet two completely different expressions were worn on them. Hers displayed fear and hatred and in mine was disgust and fury. Jure was pulling on my dress begging me to 'get off mommy' but I held firm until two strong arms grabbed ahold of me a wrenched me off my mother.

'Azalea look at me. LOOK AT ME' I turned and was two inches away from the softest cold grey eyes I ever seen his breath gracing my lips. This calmed me for a second and I just stared, dived into his eyes hoping they could take me to a place far from where I stood. They didn't, so I turned back to my mom and tried escaping but it was no use. His hold was firm on me and though I inched closer I was never released. The debaters filed out of the room Katniss with a solemn look on her face. He long dark hair covering most of her expression. She placed a finger under my chin and gave me a look only a person who can understand the horror your going through can and I calmed down. Gale brought me to my seat and kept his hand tight on mine. Katniss sent a suspicious eye at his hand but let it go and stood behind me her hands working through my mangled jet black hair. She took it out of its usual high looped ponytail and let it fall to the floor, then began to braid it gingerly like her mother does for her. Tension began to build in the room, as the silence lingered. Gales strong hand and Katniss' calming ones were keeping me to my chair. What could it have possibly been the Capitols decision? Was I too go with my brother and defend him or was I stay home and endure the torture of watching him die, because he was just not the type to kill or know anything about killing. The worse they could do would be to kill me, but I don't think that is the Capitols mentality, the most painful thing would be to control me, make me a pawn for as long as they could. The room itself felt still. Katniss worked gently on my hair. My mother stayed on the other side of the room digging her nails into Jure's shoulders as he fidgeted wanting to get closer to me. Effy was the first to speak.

'Well this by far is the most unexpected and delightful turn of events' She said in a cheerful voice. I wanted to spit on her. 'We have talked to President Snow and he is delighted at how the events unveiled. Saying this will give us the best show yet. He is also in awe of Azaleas determination to represent her district though he says her courage would be more acknowledged if she did it at the proper time.' She paused and looked at me with reprimanding eyes. 'Manners.' She said. 'He will allow you to take the place of Ms. Stead.' Whoever that silly haired frail girl was ran out of the building as soon as she heard that, probably thanking who ever she worshiped for the stupidity of one sixteen year old girl. Effy eyed her for a second, no doubt wanting to articulate how rude it was for the girl to dismiss herself but decided not to. The Mayor then stepped in saying 'All will continue as usual'. I was then hauled off by the Peacekeepers, giving one last squeeze to Gales hand, to a empty room where my visitors would show up to say goodbye. I sat for thirty minutes with no one to see me off. I mean really all the people who usually filled the spots were already here and there was no way my mother was going to say goodbye to me. When the door finally opened I was balancing my chair on its hind legs and staring up at the ceiling the door closing nearly throwing me on the floor, but strong hands stabled the chair and set it down gently and I was looking into the soft cold grey eyes again. He hugged me so tight I lost my breath but I didn't want him to let me go either, so I began to sob just a little, just to let it all out with one of the only persons I trusted, with one of my hunting partners. I was brought back to a sunny day in the woods Katniss with her bow and arrow Gale with his cleverness and traps and me with my unexplainable fighting ability and throwing knives accuracy. A happier time. I abruptly stopped my tears and Gale slowly pulled his arms out so that his hands were still firm around my arms but I could see all of his handsome features now.

'Katniss will help you' is all he could say and silence filled us for a second.

'I know' I whispered back, but the hard fact, that we both knew, was that Katniss could only help me for so long until I would give my life so that my brother could live.

'You are a brave little kid you know' he said trying to lightened the mood, but instead the words slammed into me like fist to my heart. Then he was gone the Peacekeepers pulling him away with a curious look left on his face. Katniss came in the room next telling me it was time to go and walked me out. Jure came running to me from the room where he was kept crying again. I knelt down to his level and gave him a cold gaze.

'No more crying you hear me' I yelled lounder, harsher than I needed to. 'Where we are going there are no room for tears so you cut that out' my voice caught at the end but my words were still firm. I grabbed his hand and we walked side by side with Katniss and Peeta taking up our rear and Effie Trinket walking swiftly in front of us singing something about us having to be on schedule. The car ride to the train was slow as a crowd stood around the car. People hopping over people pushing people aside to get a look at me. I'm sure more than a few people were trampled in this act. This was bigger than the Katniss scandal. A girl going in with her brother, not for him, to protect him, kill for him, and then die for him. This was better than anything, any Gamemaker could have ever dreamed up. When we finally reached the train I was near my wits end, impatiently tapping my foot on the floor rapping my hand on the window. These people are what made the game sick. I have never in my years of living seen people gather this hungrily to see tributes. Maybe in the better districts, ones with dignity and pride, but here in poor District 12 we normally kept our heads down and kept to ourselves. You give these people some excitement and they transform into the very people the claim to hate. They become on in the same with the citizens of the Capitol, who bet and jeer as children they have never met fight fot their entertainment. Safety I assume they must feel, safety in the fact that the were lucky to be born in a better part of Paenem. My thoughts disgusted me, and the fury was building up so i decided to just focus on what I saw. Broken down buildings, children too skinny for comfort, parents with clothes too old and to worn to even be called clothes anymore. And then we reached the train station, the vehicle that will deliver me to my fate. Grey and blue eyes alike followed my every move as I got out and held Jures hand as tight as I could not wanting to let him go even an inch away from me. I was just about to board the train when my name was screamed with desperation. 'AZALEA, AZALEA' I turned and saw Gale running to me. I looked at him and then back at my brother torn between them when Katniss put her hand on my shoulder and grabbed Jure's other hand and led him on the Train. Peeta stayed behind to watch over me. He had began taking an older brother role over me like Gale when they came back from the games. Anything important to Katniss was important to me he said when I asked him very bluntly why he cared so much about my life.

I stood still and Gale forced through the crowd closer to me. No Peacekeeper even trying to get inbwtween the sceen, maybe they figured that since I was going to die this is the best they can show me, pitty. I took a few steps in his direction and like an invitation he ran to me.

`I'm so stupid, I'm a fool' He said when he was dead in my face. I stared back at him with cold eyes remembering that im a kid to him. 'How do I let you go' he said again. I couldn't do this, not here, not in front of all these people, watching, pushing people aside to get a better view of what was going on. Somewhere cameras zoomed into my face to see my reaction. I could not do this in public, this is something for the meadows, just me and him the way it was for a while, the way I desperately want it to be.

'What about Katniss' I said. Not caring that the world thought of them as cousins and I would be ruining it if they decided to air this.

'When she left I loved her, I loved her because I was losing her. You can't understand what that is like. But you, I'm in love with you, but how can I your years youner than me, and there is only room for one man in your life. Jure takes up that spot and I would never want to replace him. I never thought you could fill for me too, but that look in your eyes when I called you a kid, the way you looked at me earlier, you love me too.' He said and a rare moment of softness filled his eyes. I stared at him, my head pounding, not here, not here, not here. I couldn't say it back so I just looked at him eyes softening in his glaze. Then I was flying, his lips tightened on mine, hard soft lips. Desperate lips, desiring lips, and I responded heartedly, feeding into my hunger for him my desire for him. His arms wrapped around me pulled me closer than I ever thought two human bodies could be my breast pressed against his chest. His hands slowing brushing down my back. This is the way it should be, I thought, heaven, but it was over too soon, his hands slowing sliding up my back grabbing my hair and then placing them on my face. He kissed me one last time, a soft peck and pulled his face from mine. No one existed but he and I , in my heart we were in the meadows where this moment would be perfect. But the jeers of the crowd came crashing into me and I was shaken into reality. Gale kept his hands down on my face and whispered. 'None of it matters any more' and then walked away. I turned too before I could let calm break and head to the train where Peeta waited. I climbed the steps slowly and drawing strength from the earth with every step. Then in a moment of complete spontaneity I turned around and yelled 'I love you too Gale' and then ran on the train not even seeing if the words reached him.

_**A/N: Thank you so much for reading my story it is my baby. I would really appreciate feedback or reviews. Also if you love the story spread the word. I may never be a published writer but having people read and love my stories is a dream and I would love for many thousands of people to read my story. Thank you for checking it out and I try to put a new chapter out every week on Sunday so look for them. Thank you again, -Tifa**_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My bed car was beautiful, velvet curtain with spiral floral decorations on it. The carpet was a plush red that softened at every step you took and contoured to your feet. There was basic shirts and pants in every color you could imagine lying out for me on a marble dresser with a remote that let me pick more clothes that would appear in the drawers if I so chose. I jumped in the shower with similar buttons to the ones that were in the Everdeen house and came out smelling like fresh rain. Then I sat on the edge of the bed arms wrapped around my knees rocking myself with only the thin robe separating them. A soft knock on my door sounded like Peacekeepers pounding trying to break in and Katniss' face peared into see if I were still alive, already knowing that I wouldn't harm myself because if I did that would mean my brothers death. She was dressed in a yellow blouse with painted suns on it and grey sweat pants her hair still damp. She didn't say a word and silently made her way to my bed and began combing my hair. 'You should leave it this long you know' She said working her way through my hair. 'It will make you desirable to them, and that will help you get sponsors.'

'I don't want their pathetic help' I said under my breath.

Katinss stopped and got up and faced me. 'Well your going to need it. Lets not pretend here, your not signing up to win, your signing up to die. Whether by your own hands or others, but that's not just up to you anymore, so if you want to keep Jure alive then I suggest you do all you can to get sponsors.'

'Like you' I said before my better judgment could stop me. Katniss glared at me and then said 'No not like me. If it wasn't for Peeta making me look desirable I'd be dead and for the record. I don't want you here, your like a sister to me and I don't want to watch you die.'

'Oh but you rather watch Jure die. As innocent as Prim, who is soft and understanding and way to wise for his age. Who should grow up to be Mayor or something better than this.' I said throwing my hands up in the air. 'What about what you did for Prim isn't this the same thing.'

'NO!, no, this isn't I traded places for Prim and promised to try and win. Your not going to try and win, your going here to die and I cant stand it. I don't want to have to watch you die. There are talks about District 13 I wanted to try and plan for you to escape and go there, all of us. I just never thought that this would happen before I could get the chance.'

'And what about Gale, you love him, or at least you don't know who you love, wouldn't it be easier if I were out of the way'

'Your talking crazy, I knew how Gale felt about you, before he felt the way he did about me. You just think it would be easier for everyone if you were gone. But don't think like that there is a way that you both can survive Peeta and I did it and I'm determined for you and Jure to make it out of there together.'

'How Katniss they are going to be watching even closer at us now, because of what you guys did….I don't want him to die.' I broke my anger no longer sustaining. 'I don't want him to die, he has something to live for Katniss.'

'So do you Azalea, so do you' she said and returned back to combing my hair.

Dinner was chicken smothered in orange sauce, peas bright green a succulent, a mound of potatoes, fried, mashed, seared, green bowls of hot soup and rice that seemed to be replenishing itself anytime someone took some away. There were pastries lined up around the walls of the car just waiting until it was there turn to be eaten, eager to be consumed and to fulfill its purpose. Jure ate hungerly and scarfed down all he could place eyes on. Effy looked at him with judging eyes as he ate without utensils or even plates for that matter. Once he had his fun I kindly reminded him of the manners our mother taught us and he settled down as I prepared a plate for him.

'You know that has to stop. You make the boy look weak, like he cant put on his clothes without his big sis being able to help him' Haymitch said clutching spirits in his hands.

'Oh and I should take advice from a drunkard should I.' I retorted. Haymitch and I had sort of relationship you would find when father brutally beat his kids. Absolute hate, with a hint of fear in each of our hearts. My fear was from the truth that came spilling out of his mouth and the power they held, and his, well one can only imagine what he feared in me, but it was there, always visible to those around them.

'Lets not sour dinner' Effie said trying to stop the storm before it hit shore.

'Fine' Haymitch said sloshing his drink around and finishing it off with one gulp. He stormed back out of the car no doubt in search of more booze. I couldn't stand another moment of fake serenity so I kissed Jure on his forehead and asked Peeta to keep and eye on him and went to my bedroom car and walked straight into Gale.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

'What the hell' I got out before his hands slammed on my lips hard and unrelenting. I tried to fight out of his grasp with out reason, only thinking this has to be some kind of trick or trap, some kind of Capitol ploy to break me. I could not be looking into the eyes of Gale, it had to be a mut of some form, there had to be a explanation. Then he threw me on the bed hand still firmly on my mouth and positioned his body over me so no matter how I squirmed I could not get free. It took minutes before my body tired out and sunk into the bed motionless, maybe I was already being punished for breaking the rules. Then he kissed me and I knew it was Gale, my Gale. The hunting hard handed guy who stood leader of our misbranded group of fatherless children. The one inching us to go further and further in the woods carrying me on his back when I was too scared to go further. The one who hours ago told me he loved me. He pulled back again and I remained motionless.

'You said you loved me' He whispered his eyes keeping a firm hold on mines.

'You said you love me first' I replied a slick smile of my face.

'Details' he smiled back and for a second again I was in heaven not thinking of the danger he was putting himself in, or the danger we now were in, only of his hard body pressed against mine and his scent of the woods emanating from his pores.

'Did you mean it' He said all the sudden souding so insecure and fragile, a side I never thought I'd see from Gale. I couldn't look at him pressure built up in my chest. Of course I loved him, but his curiosity in it brought him here in danger. If I told him the truth now then what would he do now. Gale who cursed the capitol in the combines of the wood, who talked of rebellion and the evils the of the Hunger Games. Katniss and I, eyeing each other wearingly afraid of how much truth lied in his words. If I gave him hope to get me, what would he do then? Lying to him though what would that do, I was already being self sacrificial for my brother, maybe I could have this one thing before I die, this one sweet moment that could make my short life somewhat complete. So with reluctance the words 'Yes I love you' tumbled out of my mouth. He stayed in his postion letting the word echo through his body I tried to squirm and found his hold still firm, but his face empty.

'That doesn't matter now' I said and his eyes focused again, pain, that's what I saw. 'None of it matters Gale I love you, I have loved you for sometime now, but I cant leave Jure. I can't let him die in the capitols hands we both know that. And you can't stop me. You have a family back home that needs you. Oh my gosh Gale your family.' I gasped out.

'They are taken care of, I finally let Katniss' mother help out.' He said still with pain in his eyes. I became stoic too. His family was everything to him, I wasn't giving up my family for him so he couldn't do the same for me. I wouldn't allow it.

'You know when Katniss came back we kissed.' His proclamation stopped me dead in my tracks. Pain, that's what was in my eyes.

'We kissed and made plans to leave, we left you out. Only thought of ourselves and our family, not saying that your not family but regardless we did. I went home that night thinking yes we can do this, I can live with Katniss on the run, me and her family and my family we could. Then you came to mind. How could I forget about you and Jure. You were apart of us. We didn't disclude you on purpose just the momentum of our plans never swung you way. But now you were all that was on my mind, and I knew Katniss wasn't enough. She came to me the next day saying we forgot about you and you had to come, but now there were too many people and not enough supplies so we had to wait. Wait to tell you and save up as much as we could and take us all away, it would be our in case of an emergency thing. I never told her that I couldn't do it because I loved you. Since then, for about a year and a half I have been crazy in love with you. Your slim, subtly curvy body, you breast, you eyes, your lips, your heart , and your soul. I never knew how Katniss really felt about me if she loved me like that, so I assumed that you were the same. Your eyes, you sweet clear water blue eyes' He broke for a second lifting his hands to brush my face. 'They tell it all, everything you will never say, and when I finally allowed myself the chance to look into them I saw hope and now you want me to give up on that' I couldn't move his hand still stroking my face giving me a opening, I couldn't take it. How horribly tragic could this be. Would I have still given myself up for my brother if I had knew all of this, if there was something else, something holding me here. I don't know how long we stayed like that, in unbreakable silence. Forever I hoped, but there was no forever for me, my days were limited, I wouldn't see the next month.

'Sissie are you in there' Jure called in and Gale popped off of me and slid into the empty closet where he probably waited all day, through my shower my tift with Katniss, the thought circled through me but I pushed it into the back of my mind and welcomed in my only reason for existence, I think.

'Are you ok' he said trying to sound as manly as possible.

'Yea Jure im fine, just need some air' I smiled a sweet smile at him.

'I know what your doing for me, you don't have to pretend its not true. Your giving yourself up to save me. I see the way everyone is looking at you, treating you. You don't have to you can go back home now and make the other girl come back and live.'

'No. I am going to stay and help you. You can't do this on your own and there's no way I could live if you weren't here so don't talk like that.'

'Then we will have to do it'

'Do what'

'We will have to find a way for us to both come out alive'

I smiled at him, everyone is holding out for the best solution, only I can see the inevitable truth. That this isn't a love story, it isn't a story about conquest and the conqueror, its about sacrifice, and the ultimate one. A sadness began to grow in Jure's eyes something to painful to see so I sighed and lied. 'Yes we will'

He looked into my eyes all too knowingly but before he could respond I hugged him and patted him on his but. 'Off to bed, we can't win together unless we get some rest. We can talk tomorrow I promise' I said and he unwilling walked away. I slowly closed my door and sank to the floor. How much can one day hold, 24 hours isn't a lot of time yet it felt like forever since they were at the table eating pancakes and laughing. I felt like I would break, into tiny tiny pieces. He was probably there right after I closed the door, afraid to touch me as I had a breakdown in my head. I could just feel his presence there, waiting patiently for me to open my eyes and see him. When I did I was afraid of what I saw, determination.

'NO, no, no , no, no' I whispered, but his face remained the same. 'There's no way, it just hopes to give a little boy so that he won't be afraid at night. There is nothing I can do but die for him, please don't think differently, and don't think that you can change it.' I pleaded with him not daring to touch him, make his presence physical again. That would change my whole mind give me something to hope for, and that isn't what I needed now, false hope, I need to be focused on one thing and that is Jure getting out alive. I stood up suddenly and went to my bed leaving Gale on the floor. Our proclamation of love meaning nothing, in the face of death, I accepted this I want him to as well. Laying on the bed with the plush red covers and the pillows made of silk was bitterly blissful. Anything happy at this point just felt like a sick treat. Gale remained on the floor, companied with his anger. I couldn't join that party of anger though. It had no purpose for me, anger is as lethal as the Games itself. If I let myself feel anger towards the predicament towards the Capitol I would be dead on arrival, which would not only seal my fate but the fate of the one I sworn to protect so instead I let my insides go numb. Starting at my feet and slowly working its way up leaving my heart for last and then covering it too. I felt nothing, and I just layed there, somewhere in my distant mind I felt Gale climb into the bed with me and grab my hand. This would have made jitters flutter through my heart, if it wasn't already numbed, instead I just welcomed its warmth letting it lull me to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, screaming. I was on fire, the tributes set me on fire. My skin burned and peeled and crackled. Breathing became impossible as I struggled for air I invited sot into my lungs filling it up and creating a black barrier for any filtered air to come in. I fought to try and get up and slipped of my skin that had already melted off my bones and feel into a pool of blood too big to survive from. So I screamed, as loud as a could, fighting the hands that held me in the fire miraculously not burning. 'Azalea, wake up, WAKE UP' the hands yelled and I tried to pull back a door slamming open pulled me back into the conscious world and I realized the hands that were holding me were Gales, I sank into them and then pulled back in terror and turned to face Katniss standing at my door.

'Idiodic, reckless, fool' she shouted at Gale hushly as to not wake up the others. 'I have never known you to be stupid, not clever Gale.'

Gale sat on the edge of the bed his arms crossed over his strong chest his eyes focusing on Katniss. 'I mean I get it your in love, but Damnit Gale you could be dead by know getting caught sneaking on here. Your going to be dead once we reached the Capitol even if we could come up with an excuse for you being here all of the damn Panem has seen your train show. They'll know why you're here and kill you on site.'

I remained at the head on my bed holding my legs close to my body, not too upset at what Katniss was saying because all of it was true. Gale wasn't going to make it off the train and it was because of her this was happening. He did this risked his life, for her and she could not let that happen.

'What do we do then. How do we get him back home safely' I said. Gale didn't turn to face me but I used his stiffening of his shoulders as a sign of discontent for what I said.

'I. don't. know.' Katniss said defeated for a second. 'But we have to do it soon' Katniss added. Gale remained silent as Katniss and I racked our brains for ways to get him home safely. Maybe have him hide out until the games are over and sneak him on the train again, or maybe we should say Haymitch has alcohol poisoning and has to get home immediately, but everything hit dead ends. We hit a wall, a Gale is dead by dawn wall, and I couldn't stomach it. I grabbed a pillow and tucked my head in it. Tears threatening me from just behind my eyes. I couldn't see but guessed that Katniss and Gale remained in the same stance, not moving thinking, searching. Finally Gale spoke up 'I'm not going anywhere'. I slowly pulled my face from the pillow and a tear dropped loudly against it. Gale remained where he was but his body twitched at the sound. 'Isnt this the same thing you did for Prim and you are doing for Jure, protecting the ones you love. Sacrificing yourself in the intention of saving the person you care about most. I had to watch you Katniss get tortured and burned and fall for someone else. Now you want me to do it again. Watch Azalea walk in that arena to die, and be ok with it, are you okay with it Katniss or are you trying to figure out a way to save both of them.' Katniss did not respond so he kept going on. 'Even if I didn't love her I can't imagine having to watch her do it following the same path as you, going through the same things as you. I could not do it again.'

'But you did it before, when I went' Katniss weakened letting her unexplored feelings for Gale slip. 'You would risk it all for her and not for me' She said. Again she was right we were a unit, a crew, we hunted together and struggled together and to say that you preferred one more than the other was a taboo. We each looked out for each other equally and given a choice we couldn't choose. Now all of the sudden its as if he threw off the balance letting Katniss know that if it came down to it he would choose me. He would save me from the fire and let her burn instead of trying to save us both, because trying to save us both meant he might lose one of us in the process and he just couldn't risk it if it meant losing me. Betrayal covered Katniss' face, and again I was reminded that this was all my fault. My head fell into the pillow again, and we all remained silent for a excruciating amount of time.

'Katniss I'm sorry' my voice said muffled by the pillow.

'Don't be sorry' Gale said curtly. 'Katniss has someone who would die for her, and she would die for Prim, and you would die for your brother, and both of them will luckily never have to die for anyone, but who do you have Zela, who do you have that would die for you.' I didn't and that was the saddest revelation of all, Gale was right and I knew Katniss would even die for Gale, I guess our balancing act was thrown off way before we got here.

'Fine Gale then die for her' Katniss said storming out. Gale got up and closed the door softly. My head stayed married to the pillow in fear that if I pulled away again more tears would dispense from my eyes. Gale did not rejoin his spot on the bed. I imagined he was by the door statue like, or maybe he left to follow Katniss and her rage. My body tilted sideways no longer able to support me and passed the job along to the bed. I waited for sleep to find me but it didn't finally I got the strength to sit up and saw the sun just peaking from the bottom of the sky. Gale sat by the door his head on his knees presumably sleeping. I gathered up the covers in a heap and spread them across him and the as softly as I could snuck in beside him and laid my head on his shoulder and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I woke up and found myself curiously comfortable for haven fallen asleep on Gale's shoulder. Then realized that I was on my bed again, alone. Panic filled me as I allow every possible scenario of Gales absence to flow through my head. Fearfully I got up and rushed out of my car and into the first one I could think of, but Katniss' car was empty too. For a second I felt as if all of it was a lie and he was really here for Katniss and then I put my fingers to my lips and remember his kiss, a kiss that could never be faked. So I went into the next car where Peeta, Jure, and Haymitch's rooms were and peered in the windows. Coming across a meeting with Haymitch, Gale, Katniss, and Peeta. No doubt Katniss came and woke Gale up while I slept. I tried to push my ear to the door but the deafening sounds of the train made it nearly impossible. I caught words that I heard last night, Idiotic and fool. I was paying close attention that when Jure tapped me on my shoulder I almost died there knelt by the door.

'They aren't really happy that Gale is here are they' he asked.

'How did you know he was here' I asked ignoring his question.

'I helped him on the train' he said nonchalantly.

I looked at him with my mouth wide open in horror and surprise.

'No one really likes to be around the little boy crying because he is walking into a sure death. So when I saw Gale peeking around obviously looking for a way in I knew that if I propped open my window and began to wail anyone even remotely close by would walk away finding the sound unbearable.' His eyes filled with happiness, as if he done something good. My eyes met his dumbfounded.

'Why'

'I have you Zela, who do you have. Katniss, Peeta, they are more than willing to help you die to save me because they have been there, they know what its like to give yourself up to save another. But Gale he doesn't care about any of that he cares about you and I needed someone who would focus on keeping you alive. I know Gale would do that at any cost.'

He is too wise my brother; way older than thirteen having more understanding of the world than elderly men could have yet fueled by the foolish hopes of a kid. Words could not explain how I felt, nor could I make myself scold him for doing something for me, a rare feat indeed. So instead I hugged him and kissed him on his cheek. He made a noise and wiped the kiss off with the back of his hand.

'Yuck' he said and we both sat there for an hour while a battle was being fought on the other end of door.

Gale was the first to walk out fist tightened he almost passed us but stopped to look back at the room and saw us huddled on the floor. He looked into my eyes again trying to communicate something to me, was it hope or despair. Katniss came out then eyeing us immediately.

`I hope your happy Gale. They let Azalea become a tribute as a further punishment to me, to have to watch a girl in my same footsteps, and watch her fail as they should have me, and now they have agreed to go with our little lovers show again to torture me some more and as soon as she dies so will you. Your only as good to them as her life, and I guarantee you they will not let her live long.' Katniss said not hiding her disgust.

I got up not wanting to be inbetween their fighting and walked out, turning back only for a second to let Katniss know that our balance, our triangle has to be restored, if there was any hope of saving anyone.

'I'd save you Katniss, if it came down to you or Gale I'd save you.'

Those words probably wouldn't have been true mere seconds ago but now were one of the truest things I knew. If it came down to it I would save Katniss so that there would be balance in our group. So that everyone had someone to watch their back, and to remind Gale and Katniss who were both so bitter to each other that in the end Family matters, and we were all family to each other.

Breakfast was awkward, only eased by the smacking nosie of Jure as he once again inhaled another meal. Effie still eyed him as he ate but let go of her resilient tyrant for manners and added to the awkward silence. Effie and Haymitch took up the head of the table while, Jure and I sat on one side facing us was Peeta and Katniss, and off to the side thoroughly grubbing was Gale who like a third of us never experienced such delicacies. Its almost worth it I thought towards him isn't it, the glamor and the five star treatment almost makes up for the fact that we are here to die. Gale never once glanced my way and I imagined his ego was bruised at my earlier statement to Katniss. Not knowing that that declaration that choice I made was to save all of us, to keep our group together, to save my brother. After all breakfast we broke into strategy how would be want to present ourselves when we got off the train. Would we all march off idvidually giving the impression that we all could care less about the other; except for Peeta and Katniss or would we walk into together me holding Jure's hand and Gale holding mine portraying a fucked up group of brother, sister, and desperate lover, we chose the latter. This was going to be the seventy fourth Hunger Games all over again as far as the Gamemakers were concerned or even better. The new head Gamemaker giving the ok for Gale to come on the trip with us, probably spreding it all around the Capitol as his idea. Our only job now was to make the people of the Capitol love us. I got the same advice Haymitch gave to Peeta and Katniss let the terrible group of people placed there to make me look pretty do their job without complaint, and I silently wondered how long I could keep that promise. Katniss described the Capitol to me before but her descriptions felll horribly short. Not being able to capture the gleam from the city as their polished building reflected back at you perfectly or the density of the population as millions of people bussled around with many important things to do. The sky was even clearer here and you could make out every outline of the clouds in the sky and the slightly different shades of blue the sky was tinted. She also couldn't describe accurately how horrible the citzens looked with their purple wigs and pink lip stains, their poofy dresses and green color eyelined men. The smug look on their faces like they are better than others, and obvious surgered look they all had to them. As the train flew by I caught things normal people shouldn't have as a body part, a tail here, pig nose there, cat ears perking up as our sound caught their attention. These people were unnatural, and I hated them all. Jure on the other hand was overjoyed at the people he saw who looked too silly for words. He waved to them gingerly and they, in awe at his cute factor smiled and waved back. I fell back into the chair and watched Jure come alive with amazement at the window.

'Makes you sick doesn't it' Gale said bitterly in my ear, and I couldn't help with agreeing with him. I turned to face him and leaned toward his ear. 'You know why I said I would save Katniss right'

'Yea, the bitter, I want to be your man part of me wanted to be hurt by your statement but you were doing what you came here to do which is save Jure, and you were also doing something Katniss nor I could care less about at the moment you were saving our group which I'm sure means a lot you especially at this given state. But I'd be lying if I said I wish there was a selfish bone in your body and you could save me, but that's just a males ego so'.

For some reason this made me laugh, the thought that we could be back in district 12 and this problem would probably mean mountains more than it does now. Gale allowed himself to smile to and then whispered into my ear, 'I still love you'.

This time I couldn't control my reaction and my cheeks flushed with red and Gales smile grew. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but with Katniss and the others around I decided not to, instead I just laid my head on his lap as he softly stroked my long locks of hair. Katniss came to join us motioning for us to follow her, we got up and I brushed Jure's hair off his forehead and kissed it and continued to follow them. She brought us into my room and waited at the door until we both filled in.

'If we are going to keep everyone we want to keep alive we have to forget all this crap between us and focus on the goal ahead.' Katniss said closing the door. 'The three of us have been partners for years keeping each other backs and secrets. Nothing changes.' Katniss said eyeing me, showing me that my choice to save her if given the choice did indeed restore balance. Then her and Gale discussed battle strategies. While I ignored them completely still knowing that I was going to die in that arena and now I had to figure out how to do it without costing Gale his life. No one would give their life for me, I would never allow it. Katniss left the room without me even realizing it and Gales hands were on top of mine. 'Where are you right now' He asked. I didn't respond not having the heart to tell him while he and Katniss were planning how to keep me alive I was thinking about the ways I could die without him dying. 'Your eyes say more that your mouth ever could' I looked up and met his they returned to their harden state, something in there that scared me to the core. I faked a half smile got up from the bed and jumped in the shower stealing a moment away for myself and cried, silently. Gasped escaped from my throat as my body tired to catch itself. I sent silent prayers that the noise from the shower would mask from the horrible mangled noises that escaped from me. My tears mixing with the water and washing of my face, I couldn't tell what was falling harder the water from the shower head of from my eyes, I stayed in the shower longer than I should have permitted and when I finally gained some composure shut it off and wrapped my hair and my body in towels and left the bathroom steam following me out. Gale laid on the bed arms spread out, fists full of covers. He looked at me prepared to go off with another speech some full proof way he can convince me to fight for some beautiful life that was yet to be actualized but even though the shower covered up my tears, but it didn't hide my puffy eyes. He stopped what ever was about to come out of his mouth and just looked at me.

'I got soap in my eyes, shit hurts you know' I attempted a poor excuse for lying. He didn't say anything just stayed still.

'Its nothing to worry about anyways I'm a big girl, I'll be camera ready when it comes to look like the badass chick from district 12 who is in this thing to die.' I forced a smile on my face.

Gale got up from the bed slowly and walked towards me and picked me up and placed me carefully back on the bed inbetweeen him and held me. He took the towel off my head and my hair cascaded out filling what ever space we had between us, falling over my shoulder and his. He pulled back the hair on the right side of my body and kissed my forehead just as I did for Jure earlier, just as I did for someone I adored, someone I couldn't live without. I didn't cry, I just rested there in his arms letting my imagination run away with me.

'Its going to be ok' Gale whispered and I wanted nothing more than for that be true, that when I opened my eyes we would be back in district 12 and this would all be a dream, everything but Gale, that I would hope would stay with me, and like a foolish child closed my eyes really tight and opened them up and was faced with reality that this was truth, there was no going back now. I still had Gale but it came at a horrible price. Didn't they same some bull like things happen for a reason. Piff.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Hey I usually put a new chapter out every Sunday but seeing this one is Mother's Day I decided to put it out before the weekend. Happy Mother's Day everybody and May The Odds Be Ever in You Favor!_**

Chapter 5

The beautification process is worse than jabbing rose thorns in your eyes, that I would welcome in replacement for the ripping of every strand of hair on my legs and bikini area, my arms and even my eyebrows had to be thinned out and clean. I know they advised me to keep silent and let them do what they do, I couldn't help it if some choice words flew at of my mouth as the basically ripped the skin off my body. Chasten, Jewel, and Truvia where in charge of making me pretty, I just didn't know I was such a horrible canvas to start with, they shook they're heads at my body as the kept working whispering things under their breath. Yep!, I hated them all. Finally I was squeaky and shiny and completely raw all over the only good thing to come my way was Cinna, Katniss' friend and now personal stylist. I smiled remember seeing him at Katniss' house fitting her in wedding dresses, that one day she would be forced to wear, forced to marry Peeta, that's the capitol for you, forcing you into matrimony. I stood there stark naked as he glazed over my body, taking in my tan skin, slight curve, long hair, then said 'How do you feel about being a queen?'

Carnival, that's all I could think of waiting in the garage with all the other tributes, a picture of a carnival. The Capitol has them all the time and shows videos of it to the district when they want to rub it in our face just how better they are living than us lesser beings. The costumes here were ridiculous and I was thanking who ever is up there pupetting the strings for giving me Cinna who came up with a brilliant plan. 'Its obvious that your story is reminiscent to another very virgin victor. So there's no use trying to separate you from her shadow, we might as well embrace it as we have done all of the sudden changes that have happened, because fighting them proves useless and counterproductive.' I liked Cinna. So I stood with my hair twisted and jeweled in yellow and red and orange into a crown with spirals of curls falling down from it by my ears and one down my back. I wore a corset fashioned to look like it came from a time I've never even heard of in history, a time way before the wars even started. It tightened around my waist pushing my breast uncomfortably high and the came into a full poof dress made of a beautiful soft grey color accented by more red and yellow jewels. my feet were in sturdy flat boots. Jure was in an handsome grey tunic with soft grey pants a brush of red painted on the tips of his hair, which was sticking up like usual, but this time in a purposeful fashion as it curled around the tiny crown on his had we both had small bracelets on each hand that we were told when the moment was right would ignite into a small harmless flame. Jure's crown and my hair molded into a crown would also be on fire, harmless they said, but I couldn't help but grab a strand of my hair and stroke it lovingly hoping that it would still be here by the end of the night. Katniss was there in a beautiful grey dress sporting fire earings arms locked with Peeta whose cuff links had a fire glow to them as well, we were no doubt a team. Katniss came over to me and hugged me. 'You look beautiful Azalea' She said playing with a strand of my hair. 'I brought something for you' she said and placed her Mokingjay pin on my dress. 'It protected me and now its time to hand it down and let it protect someone else.' I tried to respond with some sort of heart feelings but the trumpets interrupted my attempt and I was stuck fondling the pin hoping that maybe some of its magic would rub off on me. I joined Jure on the carriage and bent down to straighten his crown which was sitting lop sided on his head.

'Remember what I said, we are big and strong no more crying no more tears. These people don't deserve it and we are better than them, above them. So when we get out there I want you to hold your head high and pretend you are the oldest guy here ok.' I whispered to him as our carriage was slowly progressing to the double doors. 'Gotcha' he said smiling and the immediately stopped and put on a fierce face as we road off into the stadium. There was no time for thinking or feeling ,the screams and hoots and yells filled your entire being. The people, the sick, sick people going crazy over the costumes, the whole thing. Making a pageant of the thing, we are going into a slaughter house, like pigs, but they want to dress us up make us try to please them so that maybe hopefully we can win, with their help. Its horrible, I was starting to see how Gale felt about the Capitol. He and Katniss would argue for days Katniss saying that not everyone in the Capitol was bad, Gale saying that anyone sitting and willing to watch children kill children didn't have anything good about them. I would always say that slave masters seemed nice when they treated their slaves with care, but slaves were still slaves so how nice could they really be. No matter how nice these people were to us, they still sent us out to die, there is nothing nice about that. Deep in thought I didn't look up till Jure's grabbed my hand and pointed to the screens where we were being featured. Katniss was the girl on fire but we took over and became the Royalty of fire, owning it my dress began to turn a soft sot grey at the bottom. I stayed true to my word, hard and cold I faced the crowd, looking like I was above them and they loved it. President Snow stood up from his seat at the balcony and the crowd lulled. Looking up I saw couple other officials, head Gamemaker, and Gale, my Gale of the left hand side of the President fear casted over my beautifully painted face. Gale had a forced calm spread over him, like any second he would snap and throw the President off the balcony, I'd be proud. 'Hello, Hello' He said 'Welcome to the Seventy Sixth Hunger Games. I want to wish all the tributes good luck and I sincerely hope that the odds are ever in your favor. Lets us all be reminded of the kindness of the Capitol and I welcome Katniss Everdeens' cousin Gale to the Hunger Games. We all remember his touching interview two years ago and how the love of Katniss and Peeta change the entire Panem. Now we have another love story given to us by the family of Katniss, she is our beloved victor and we want to show her family the kindness that we have to offer. So Gale will be here for the Seventy Sixth Hunger Games to say his last goodbyes to a girl he just yesterday had to courage to say he loved.' The crowd went crazy and president Snow sat down. Well played.

'He knows exactly what he's doing' Haymitch said,with a goofy laugh, drowning down his drink. We were all sitting in the living room of our penthouse suite apartment. The replay of the opening ceremonies just finished on the seemingly airless tv.

'He made it so every tribute in every other district will have you in their scope. No one here was really found of the love story between Katniss and Peeta, it took sponsors away from the other tributes and this is ten times worse. But he also is making this more desirable to watch, straying away from the barbaric nature of the Hunger Games and trying to showcase it in a way that people will watch it like they do a sad movie.' Peeta said

'And when Azalea dies they will cry for two minutes and move on with the rest of their life saying how much better the Hunger Games are getting and how they can't wait till next year' Gale finished. The room remained silent, a part of me wanted to take Jure out of the room, but no matter how mature of a conversation it was it involved him. The Hunger Games were going to change him anyways so there was no point in trying to protect his innocence, it was gone as soon as his name was pulled.

'Maybe it will backfire' Jure said softly not really sure of it himself. Everyone smiled a grimly, his optimism was cute but there was no truth to the words he said.

'There are still rebellions in some of the districts' Katniss said

'But for how long Katniss' Gale replied.

'Something has to happen in the games something horrible' Peeta said. 'Something that will make everyone stop and think, like Rue.'

'Too bad we can't direct the Hunger Games ourselves' I said jokingly. Silence. Gale reached over to grab my hand, the first gesture he made towards me since we arrived in the Capitol. I looked around the room at all of the solemn faces reflecting mine and stopped at Haymitch there was something different there, secretive, it could have also just been a glass over look from all of his alcohol consumption.

'What if we did' I said. 'What if we used goods as messages'? Gales hand twitched in mine turning over the idea,

'Yes, depending on what we send, you will do certain things.' Peeta said jumping on to Gales train of thought.

'Bread could mean camp for the night' Katniss interjected

'Yes and supplies like ointment would mean keep moving' Peeta said

'If you sent us red berries it could mean that tributes were coming for us and get ready to kill and blue would mean tributes are coming for us get ready to hide' Jure added. Excitement was filling the room everyone throwing out ideas for what certain items would mean.

'How would we know if your sending it if we really need it or if it's a message' I asked.

'You could do what I did, if you need something demand it and if you get it then its because you need it, otherwise it's a sign.' Katniss said. The plan sounding better and better as we passed the idea around.

'There's one thing you are forgetting about Sugar Plum' Haymitch said to me. 'The capitol isn't stupid they will notice something is up after the first couple of messages when you keep nearly escaping death'

'Then they will need to be better actors than Katniss' Gale said.

'Are you willing to risk all of our lives on it' Haymitch said.

'Weren't you' Katniss countered. 'You're the one who invented the message system, kisses gets me food'

'Yes sweetheart but that was just to play up your romance, this is rigging the Hunger Games, we are in a whole different ball park'

'Look everyone is trying to get me to have hope that I will make it out of the arena. I still don't have hope for that, but this, this is a great plan this gives us an advantage, to the disadvantage we were just giving' I said

'Only because lover boy had the misfortune of being so stupid' Haymitch said getting up and walking away. The rest of us paid no attention to him and kept planning.

_**A/N: Sorry I this isn't my best chapter but it was something I had to get out of the way to get to the better things and trust me some amazing things are coming. Please keep reading. **_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

In the training arena I excelled, I was very good at edible plants, traps and archery; exceptional at throwing knives but where I really excelled was with something I never knew existed, stick fighting. On the first day I went to the throwing spears section and a "random" stray knife came flying my way. I acted instinctively and use the spear to deflect it. One of the trainers saw something there and told me about the art of staff fighting, Shareeravadi. Which is a bamboo staff with a spear ending. Right away he began to train me with it, and I caught on immediately. Jure on the other hand was not good at anything fight based. He just didn't have the heart to harm anyone, but that's what made him special. Everyone around him feel in love with him even the cold careers from districts 1 and 2. That didn't mean that they weren't going to kill him when the time came, more like they would feel bad about it later on. Our training never stopped outside of that room, dinner was filled with strategizing. The only peace and quiet I got was in my room with Gale. We stayed up hours longer than we should talking. We talked a lot before but it was mostly about hatred for the Capitol and hunting tips and we were always companied with Katniss. This time it was about hope and desires and wishes, things that neither of us would ever want to admit. Things that before the confessions of love neither of us would have even thought of actualizing. Gale told me about his desire to be an officer. 'Like the peacekeepers' I said.

'NO!, Hell no. Nothing like them. I want to be and officer for something that actually means something. I want to help fight for freedom and keep it that way.' I smiled at him. 'Don't laugh at me' he said as I chuckled. He picked me up high and spun me around and then slammed me back on the bed. His body on top of mine holding me in place. 'What do you want to be' he asked.

'I don't really have that option do I' I replied eyes to the side trying not to look into his eyes.

'If you did' he said as he long gave up the hope of trying to convince me that he would keep me alive. After a long moment I said 'A fighter.' 'Nothing as noble as you want, fighting for a just government I want to be like a secret agent, or a fighter for hire. Rescuing kidnapped kids, and saving helpless people, killing bad people who don't deserve the justice system. Mostly protecting people. I don't think I could ever do it for a government agency just probably me by myself choosing which jobs I would want to take.' I smile crossed my face as I envisioned that future for me a place where I was free and had complete control at the same time.

'What would your code name be' Gale said playing along

'Well that's easy Z' I replied giggling.

'I like it' Gales face inching closer to mines.

'Do you know'

'OOOH yea' his lips brushing mine. I didn't move an inch and we both waited to see who would give in first. I can't tell you if I did or he, but then we were kissing, lips crashing into each other harshly. This wasn't a romantic kiss it was a lustful one. Each kiss deeper than the other, each kiss intensifying the hunger for another. My hands went to his soft hair and grabbed a fistful bringing him closer to me. His hands slid under my back pressing our bodies up on each other. We stayed that way, bodies intertwined and kissing until the sun came up. Never wanting to give up the moments that we were having. Katniss knocking on the slamming on the door ended it, and we were thrust back into reality. We were in a world where only he and I existed, no games, no responsibilities only the desire for one in other, but now we had to awaken to real life where I was walking to my death and he was watching me.

Breakfast was interestingly cheerful and even Haymitchs presence wasn't completely unnecessary. Jure babbled about all the fascinating things he learned about the different districts and how if we could all just share resources we could be a better nation. Katniss whom seemed to be more found of Peeta as of late was sitting next to him looking at his recent paintings. Effie was ignoring our inadequate etteqite chatting away with Haymitch. Gale sat next to me drawing snare traps on napkins.

'So Jure what are you going to do for your evaluation today' Effie asked pleasantly. The mood instantly changed, I think even the food got sour. None of us had thought about it. Jure wasn't good at anything. He couldn't really id the edible plant life from the horribly dangerous ones, he wasn't very good at combat or weaponry, painting turned into a horrible mess when he attempted even the most basic of disguises.

'I was just going to talk to them' Jure said matter of factly. The room stood dumbfounded.

'Jure you can't talk to them. You have to showcase something. I should have practiced with you more found something you could do. What about knots can you tie knots' I asked desperately

'Nope they get tangled in my hands'

'Climbing then, your small and agile' Katniss added

'Yes but not very well I tire easily'

'There has to be something that we are overlooking' Peeta said

'Peeta I would think you more than anyone would recognize the power of spoken word. Moving people making them feel just by talking to them, convincing them that there is something in me stronger than anything anyone else can see.'

'This outta be good' Haymitch said leaning back a little on his chair. 'Lemme guess a good heart'

'No a sister that would do anything for me that is great at everything.'

'That's not a skill' Gale added. I kicked him under the table.

'Maybe but lets not forget that all of the tributes respect me and sometimes confusing someone for a second, spinning words around someone, making them think one thing and then the other gives valuable time for even the weaker of people to attack. Most of these people are brawn not brains therefore just confuse them with words and BOOM! Zela comes and gets them.'

'So your value is presenting us as a team.' I said trying very hard to follow.

'Yep, everyone knows why you're here so there is no point in trying to fight it. The only thing they are going to figure out is what I can add to the team, and that's a distraction.'

'Sure kid' Haymitch said reaching for a drink. 'This is going to be one hell of a day'

Waiting for my turn to go was excruciating, but waiting for Jure to go was worse. He sat up talking to the tributes calming their nerves letting them know that they can and will do their best and that's all anyone can ask for. I gave up trying to tell him helping them out would do us no good. He was too genuine. Slowly but surely it was down to just me and him.

'Jure'

'Hmm'

'Promise me you will do something more than talk to them'

'Like what'

'Your like a monkey' I tussled his hair. 'Do the flips you like to do and swing of the ropes and attempt to kick something, show them how fast you can run, something. I am good but I can't do magic kid and if you don't get a good score it will be harder to get sponsors, and if we don't have sponsors our plan is useless.'

'Ok' just then his name was called. He got up and hugged me. 'Don't worry so much sis. We got this and he walked into the room. What seemed like hours later my name was called and my show began. I twilered my bamboo stick that was made for me by one of the trainers and attacked random dummies, throwing knives at targets hitting the center every time. Showcased some of my fighting moves and identified every plant correctly. Went to the trap station and completed a fairly unnoticeable and debilitating trap, and ended with throwing knives at sandbags knocking them from their hang position and thoroughly beating them up until the bags were mangled and the floor was filled with sand, I did a forward flip and landed rolling the sand into a crouched position and remained unmoving until I was dismissed.

Sending a prayer that I did all I could do to make an impression.

Afterward dinner was basically the zombie of breakfast. What was once blue skies and rainbows turned into grey clouds and thunderstorms. Neither Jure or I would discuss what we did in the training room and no one really asked us. But there was the unspoken realization that everything that we planned every scheme and measure we have gone through mostly depends on this moment. The moment where our scores can aid us or surrender us straight into deaths hands. I'm not even sure any of us ate, not even Jure, whose moods never seemed to affect his very healthy appetite. I know i just turned the bright green peas over and over keeping my eyes firmly planted on my plate. Randomly I would feel Gales hands caress my slender things but it was somewhere far back in my conciseness. I also felt very apologetic to Cinna and Jure's designer because surely they didn't expect this when they came for dinner with us.

A few time Effie tried to spark on conversation asking us about what happened, how do we felt we did, she even got so desperate for human interaction that she asked Haymitch how his day was. This got her a hiccup of throw up and evil glare. Haymitch was even more intoxicated than usual. No doubt from the up coming events. No matter how he liked to play it I knew he cared for all of us or at least had the basic human instinct that the anomalous people of the Capitol did not posses, to not want to watch other people brutally massacred. Whichever it was this game was bringing him to new lows and I positive soon the officials of the game would interviene with his drinking if nothing else to save face as he masterfully made a mockery of the games every time he showed his face on camera or in public. Which was alot now seeing that he was a mentor legend bringing two victors home and now people wanted to see if it could be done again. Yet sadly all Haymitch wanted people to see is just how early he could show up reeking of alcohol and stumbling into every bureaucrat he had the misfortune of engaging with.

Finally after all of the awkward talk and pushing food around and hiccuped throw up we sat down in front of the floating tv and watched Ceaser announce the scores. The Careers of course received high nines and tens, but what else was to be expected. And then the other districts score scattered from a six to eight, some crippled kid from district nine recieving the lowest score I think I have ever seen in my entirety of the games, a 2. No doubt he would be the first to have a cannon alarmed in his name. Ten and eleven passed through without much of a fuss just scores that everyone else was receiving. Then it was time for District twelve and anxiety I was getting from the anticipation drove me to hide in Gales shirt where I felt I was safe from what I was sure was going to be bad news.

Jure received a six and that was all I could ask for. Higher than five higher that five is all I said in my head while we waited. I got a twelve. 'They really want to make sure that you are the main target' Katniss said when Gale, she and I were in my room. 'They are basically putting a price on your head. I wouldn't put it past them to leak rumors that whomever kills you first gets all of your sponsors' Gale added.

'Well the only upside to this is I should have a lot of sponsors' I said playing with a stray thread from the cover. 'Gale haven't they been showing you around the whole Capitol?'

'Yep. Taking me to the best places in all of Panem and making sure everyone sees me there. President Snow had been my personal escort telling me how gracious I should feel, that I get to see all of this and be sure to take souvenirs back to District 12.'

'That's sick you won't even get to live to take them back.' I argued.

'He did the same thing to me and Peeta.' Katniss said 'He made sure we felt threatened and powerless with a smile'

'Well ill be sure to kick his ass with a smile too' I said. 'This is bull'

'Yea well you signed up for it' Katniss retorted.

'Yea because I had no choice, I couldn't let Jure walk in the arena. He would be dead within minutes. You heard him he wanted to talk to the gamemakers. I didn't have a choice he is the only family I have' anger flooded in me. 'Who are you to say anything when you put yourself in the same predicament two years earlier.'

'Yea but I didn't go in to die. What you think all of us, Me, Peeta, Gale, hell even Haymitch want to sit and watch you kill yourself in the end. No matter how noble.'

'Well no one says you have to Katniss, close your freaking eyes, Jure's life is the most important thing to me and if you don't get that then all of this is pointless.'

'I get that, I really do, but I'm so afraid that you want to die. That your welcoming it'

'Well what can I do, cry about it, fight it, we both know someone has to pay for all the rules being broken, that is me, unless you rather them take it out on someone else. Maybe this can save you and Prim and Peeta from whatever Snow has planned. My death could save a lot of people'

'But you won't be alive' Gale said, finally adding something to this fight. 'You won't be alive and how do you think Katniss, or me, or Jure can live without that'

'I'm sorry but that's not my problem'

'Then your being selfish.' Katniss said

'She's right you are. Dying is the easy way out fighting, trying to find a way to make this all work that's the hard part. ' Gale interjected.

'Really you guys really think that walking into an arena to die is easy.' Tears started to bubble like acid in my eyes. 'I will never get to see Jure grow up, become the man he is meant to be, make sure he is ok. I won't get to see where this between you and I, Gale will go. I don't get anymore hunting trips with you guys. I can't see Prim grow up or your brothers and sistes. See if the rebellion will happen, see freedom. I don't get to have any of that, so Jure can. Tell me where is that selfish'

'I get that Zela, I do but you won't even have hope' Katniss pleaded.

'Hope for what, hope that somehow someway we both will live. Hope to hold me so that when the last moment comes and you guys haven't found a way and I have to kill myself then it will be harder and I won't want to do it. What is the point of hope here. My only hope is that Jure will be the victor and you guys will take care of him'

'Let her die then' Gale said.

My heart dropped I never imagined Gale would say that, I thought he would keep fighting for me even though I don't want him to, isn't that what love is.

'Let her die and then Katniss maybe I could be your man on the side. I know you are becoming found of Peeta but after a while I think we could try and make something out of whatever feelings we have. Lets move on with our lives just like Zela wants us too.'

'Wow' I replied.

'Wow what, isn't that what you want Azalea you want the whole world to move on without you. You want to give me up that easily. But let me guess you thought that I would always love you. No I could never love a coward.'

'Oh so I'm a coward now'

'I don't see anyone else here that can be that, Katniss is a victor she fought to get where she was, she's strong and me and I'm not talking about me.'

'Whose the coward you couldn't tell me you loved me until I was basically sentenced to death.'

'Right like you did any better of a job telling me'

'BECAUSE EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW YOU LOVED KATNISS' I screamed. 'How I felt for you was clear, even Katniss saw, but you, your mister hard ass mister I can't show anybody my weakness, let anybody in. How is that less cowardly then what I'm doing'

'It just is'

'Look you guys this isn't do us any good' Katniss tried playing referee.

'SHUT UP KATNISS' we both said.

'So your totally fine moving on to something better once I'm gone' I continued. 'Totally fine with losing me'

'NO, but you seem absolutely ok with leaving me'

'Do you really think I want to. I love you Gale, and you too Katniss, you guys are my family.'

'Then what is it why are you acting like your all ok with this' Katniss asked.

'Because I'm afraid to die.' Tears almost fell and I slammed my eyes shut forcing them back. Everyone remained silent. Somewhere Gale shifted and his position, maybe trying to comfort me and not knowing how. 'You guys I don't want to die. I wish all the time that Jure's name wasn't called or that he didn't need me so I could have a life of my own. That's not the case, he does, and my life isn't my life it belongs to Jure and the Capitol, and the freaking President. I want nothing more to live my life for me, but that's selfish because who would take care of Jure. Who would put food on the table, make sure he does his work and the dishes are done and the clothes washed. I just don't have that privilege.' I got off the bed and walked to the door, turning the knob slowly. 'I just want to be free' I said to the door and walked out of the room. My feet led me around searching for a open place, not the confinement of the penthouse. I'm not really sure when I found the stairs how I climb them or how long I spent in the garden just laying looking at the stars. I had no idea I was actually up there until Peeta joined me.

'Long day' he asked and I burst into laughter.

'Yes'

'I remember what it felt like'

'Hmmm, whats that'

'Walking into the arena to die. I made a choice that I was going to help Katniss get home. No one thought I was going to win anyways. I shouldn't have won. But I did, and I am thankful for it everyday.'

'Congratulations'

'My point is, is that life has a plan and we can't change it or arrange it. I planned to die and I am still sitting here'

'So your like everyone you want me to have hope'

'No, I didn't, not until Katniss came to find me and they announced that there would be two winners'

'Yea but they revoked that at the end'

'Yea and I lost hope again'

'So what are you trying to say'

'Don't give up on your life just yet. No matter what fight to stay alive. Because if you give up and expect death your not going to have the right strength to protect Jure. True, uninhibited strength comes in the fear and hope of life. If your prepared to die, that's cool, but fight to live as long as you can. ' We both sat there letting the words sink in to our souls.

'The stars are nice' Peeta said after many moments of silence. 'I think I better get to bed. They like to lock the doors now and Katniss has horrible nightmares.'

'Peeta'

'Yea Azalea'

'You are way too good for Katniss, but I think you are what she needs'

'Thank you, and what about you what do you need?' His question rang in my head as he stood there.

'I need Gale, someone to challenge me. Someone who won't sugar code the world but give it to me as it is, feed my fire, and extinguish it with his own hot burning one when he can. Someone who can take care of me but give me the space and freedom I want. Mostly though I need Jure to survive this unharmed.'

'I care about you a lot so I'm not going to lie to you what you guys will see in there, is more damaging than any physical thing you could ever receive.' he said and then walked away, and even this place didn't feel safe anymore.

**A/N: Sorry I couldn't get this to you guys on Sunday as planned I have been really busy at work. Hope you enjoy though. **


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